Category Archives: Movies

Bewitched (2005)

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Bewitched

Thinking he can overshadow an unknown actress in the part, an egocentric actor unknowingly gets a witch cast in an upcoming television remake of the classic show “Bewitched”.

I just got done watching this crap, which I wanted to see since my friend worked on it and Lori & I visited the set.

Man did it suck!

I don’t think the casting was bad, though Steve Carrell was quite disappointing as Uncle Arthur (and I like Steve Carrell). Nicole Kidman is physically a great choice to play Samantha, Will Ferrell was fine, Michael Caine was charming – even Shirley MacClaine was tolerable.

Unfortunately the script was pathetic. Soooo, so bad. I had a feeling it might stink when I heard it was a Nora Ephron endeavor (in fact, I heard that when we were on set and let out an audible “Ech!” – oops) I figured she didn’t have the chops to pull it off and I was right. It was such a great show, with so many fun episodes to choose from – why they decided to try this tactic is beyond me. Movie in a movie is very tricky and rarely successful.

And the soundtrack – who picked these tunes? I mean, they were fine tunes and the CD may be great, but most were completely out of place and distracting in this movie.

UPDATE: Ouch
Production budget – $80,000,000
Total US Gross – $62,252,415

 

UPDATE: Seems that Reilly agrees, though she is perhaps not quite as vehement as I was.


Rotten Tomatoes: Critics 25%; Audience 34%

The Wedding Date (2005)

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The Wedding Date

The Wedding Date

Single-girl anxiety causes Kat Ellis (Messing) to hire a male escort (Mulroney) to pose as her boyfriend at her sister’s wedding. Her plan, an attempt to dupe her ex-fiancé, who dumped her a couple years prior, proves to be her undoing.

I am having a hermit sort of a weekend, which means chick flicks. On the suggestion of the clerks at Blockbuster, I picked up The Wedding Date.

Not bad, definitely good cinematherapy, I think my girlfriends would like it so it is higher on the Word of Mouth scale.

Some truly great lines from Dermot Mulroney’s character:

  • “The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back.”
  • “I think I’d miss you even if we’d never met”
  • “Here’s to the husbands who’ve won you, the losers who’ve lost you, and the lucky bastards who’ve yet to meet you”

Yeah, the flick was definitely written by a woman.

To be fair: Rotten Tomatoes liked this one even less than Bewitched, though there were some (slightly) positive reviews


Rotten Tomatoes: Critics 10%; Audience 68%

“A bit like cheap champagne: It’s better if you revel in its bubbly fizz and don’t think about the finish.”

~ Sue Pierman

 

The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)

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The 40 Year Old Virgin

SG took me to see The 40 Year Old Virgin last night two nights ago (Friday). I figured it would be good, I always enjoy Steve Carrell and I heard this was a real gut-buster.

I also heard it was raunchy; worse than There’s Something About Mary, worse than The Wedding Crashers.

And it was.

It was also FREAKING HILARIOUS.

Yet, through the whole movie and all the gross/crass humor, you could see the sweetness. It wasn’t so much a guy trying to get laid (OK, there were some other guys trying to get him laid) as a guy trying to find love. Yep – the L word…it must be a chick flick. That, and the fact that they burst spontaneously into a musical production number……

So, since it is so crass and I can’t recommend it to my mom…or my sister…or, really, anyone in my family….and I know it isn’t Lori’s cup of tea….the Word of Mouth Scale suffers, even though I was LMAO.

BTW: I expect the tag line “You know how I know you’re gay?” to catch on, everyone I have talked to who saw the movie is using it. I have also heard “Kelly Clarkson!” as an expletive.

UPDATE: The movie cost $26 million to make and has brought in $37 million in the first week. I’m not surprised and I expect it to stay up there, I imagine many people are telling their friends, who are telling their friends…it is one of those movies.

Boogeyman (2005)

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Boogeyman

I had some time to kill this evening (and kill it I did) since SG had other plans. I got Boogeyman from my Blockbuster Online account a couple days ago. Now, I don’t remember putting it in my queue, but I imagine I must have seen it in the “Coming Soon” section and just clicked it – I like creepy movies.

Anyway, I have a friend I haven’t seen for a while and she was up for it so after I ate dinner I went to her house and we watched it. All of it – which was no easy feat! To say this movie sucked would be an insult to all other things which have ever sucked. It wasn’t even in the realm of funny bad – just boring bad. She kept trying to get me to turn it off, suggesting other thing that might be on, rattling off the movies in her collection.

No way, I’m no quitter – and surely they had to put something interesting in there, right? Wrong…so, so wrong. So predictable all the way through, so snooze-worthy.

I have an excuse, I wasn’t warned. You, on the other hand, have been warned. Don’t come whining to me if you take it upon yourselves to try and sit through it. I did my part.

UPDATE: I originally forgot to include my Word of Mouth scale rating. I designed it to reflect how likely I am to recommend a movie to my family and friends. I will definitely tell any of them I think likely to be curious about this movie – advising them strongly to stay away. Unfortunately, I didn’t design it to allow negative numbers, so zero out of five will have to do….


Rotten Tomatoes: Critics 13%; Audience 38%

Like Something The Lord Made (2004)

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Something The Lord Made

Something The Lord Made

It loses half a star for being hard to get my hands on.Something The Lord Made

The true story of two medical pioneers — one celebrated, one overlooked — is brought to life in this made-for-cable drama. Alfred Blalock (Alan Rickman) is chief surgeon at Johns Hopkins University, where he is pioneering new techniques in heart surgery. Blalock makes the acquaintance of Vivien Thomas (Mos Def), a carpenter hired to work at the University, and to his surprise discovers a man of keen intelligence who has a great interest in medicine. However, as a poor black man in the Jim Crow South, Thomas lacks the financial resources to obtain a medical degree, though he certainly has the knowledge and the desire. Blalock takes Thomas on as his lab assistant, and together they develop a technique that allows them to correct a common congenital heart defect in children.

Wow! I watched Something The Lord Made tonight last night and was thoroughly captivated. I have been wanting to see it for some time and have had it on my Blockbuster Online list almost from the start (it actually got sent out once but never made it to me) SG, being the thoughtful guy that he is and knowing I have been wanting to see it, noticed it was on Monday night and programmed it in for us to watch during dinner.

Consummately captivated – I love small movies like this. Alan Rickman was, as usual, brilliant. Mos Def showcased Vivien Thomas’ genius, and his vulnerability. The story held your attention, even though you know how it turns out. (I do wonder how much of it was fictionalized, though I would love for every frame to have been true)

Can’t think of anyone in my circle I wouldn’t expect to enjoy and benefit from this film.


Rotten Tomatoes: Critics N/A; Audience 90%

 

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Beyond The Sea (2004)

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Beyond The Sea

It gets half a lip for the times it made me laugh, even if it was unintentional

I was intrigued when I heard Kevin Spacey was making a movie about Bobby Darin – Spacey is a good actor, Darin is an interesting subject..ought to be good, right? WRONG!

Beyond The Sea is possibly the worst movie I have seen in the last 10 years. Possibly worse than a bunch of movies I haven’t seen. In fact, I think the only way to make this movie worse would have been to cast Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in it.

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I Am David (2003)

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I Am David

I Am David

When I watched The 13th Warrior (which I liked, wanna make something of it?!?!) I was mesmerized by the Scandinavian babe, Maria Bonnevie, Maria Bonneviewho treated Antonio Banderas‘ wounds.

 
I was wondering the other day what other movies she may have done and found one on Blockbuster. It turned out that James Caviezel * was in it, too, and since I like him I rented it.

The movie is I Am David and it is wonderful. It took me a few days to get around to watching it…unfortunately. As it turns out, the two performers I had originally hoped to see were barely in the film – though what they did was pivotal.

David, a 12-year-old, escapes from a Communist concentration camp with little more than a compass, a sealed letter, a loaf of bread, and instructions to carry the letter to Copenhagen, Denmark. David is thrust into the free world for the first time in his young life as he travels across Europe. His spiritual voyage of discovery, where David slowly loses his instinctive mistrust of humanity and begins to smile, share, trust and ultimately, love, addresses the cruelties, politics, and suffering of warfare while celebrating the resilience of youth and the unbreakable spirit of a child.

There is only one person in my immediate circle that I wouldn’t expect to really enjoy this film. It is currently making the rounds in my family; my sister had it last night, my mom and step-dad have it now….

That earns it a rare perfect score on the Word of Mouth Scale.

* the actor who portrayed Pilate, condemning Caviezl’s Jesus in The Passion of the Christ, here portrays the prison commander, condemning Caviezel’s Johannes.

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Rotten Tomatoes: Critics 38%; Audience 84%

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